The Fragility of Life!!!

John Mutunga"s Coffin.

Ocampo Six

Friends and relatives travel to Wote!

The big story in Kenya right now is on the Ocampo Six, the four confirmed and the 2 dropped! ICC, the Hague, William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta, Francis Muthaura and Joshua Sang are the present newsmakers in Kenya and the world at large. I am not writing about it for now; I am just watching it as it unfolds. “No comment? Coward girl!” said one of my friends.

I am writing an update of my earlier blog post. Death is painful. I am accepting the reality that when we say, we are not mourning, instead we are celebrating his or her life, it is easier said than done. Who really understands the fragility of life? Who?

Last Saturday, as we headed to Wote in Kathonzweni District to bid farewell to our former colleague John Mutunga Muli, I felt very miserable. Trying to understand what life is all about and why certain things happen as they do. With many questions unanswered, I finally managed to get the guts to share my misery when I posted this on my Facebook page.

Marion (right) and her mother.

“Sitting on this bus to Wote, I feel miserable. I am not mad at God, but I feel very sad. 1. Why did He allow that fateful accident? 2. Why didn’t He give a chance to Mutunga to see his unborn baby? (With only a month to go?) 3. Why would Marion (Mutunga’s wife) become a widow at such a tender age? 4. What happens to all the dreams and aspirations that the two had together?”

What is life?

 “There is one thing that God has hidden from us: our future. To me life is still a mystery and so precious. May the good Lord give us all wisdom to tackle life,” wrote Inger Johanne Jupta, 71. Her comment even confused me further. At her age, I imagined she has massive wisdom to understand life better than some of us do. Then it dawned on me, really, even age does not translate to a deeper understanding of what life is all about, it is indeed a mystery!

Mutunga and Marion on their wedding

Memories of John crossed my mind as we drove through the dusty, dry and deserted land of the Akamba people. I did a flash back during their wedding in April 2009, they were ready to start a future together. The mood then was so sweet and jovial, and dancing we did. In less than 3 years, I am attending his burial; the mood this time round is very different, sad and somber with shuttered dreams!

“I fell in love with John in 2004 while at Maseno University where we both schooled. His smile did the trick. On our first date, he proposed and we decided we will get married after our campus years.” Said a strong Marion. I shed tears as she read her 2 paged speech and I wondered, where did she get all the strength from? I tried putting myself in her shoe and I failed miserably. She challenged me big-time.

Marion reads her speech.

“We were a perfect match and John was a perfect husband. No man can ever replace him, at least not in my heart. He was my best friend and we did most of the things together.” Narrated Marion. There was pin drop silence as she took long pauses and I thought at some point she will break down, but I was mistaken.

“Marrying him was the best decision I ever made. But even today, I do not regret it, because I wouldn’t replace him for any prince- charming and handsome man. He treated me like a queen and our marriage was still on honeymoon.”

Save yourself first

Esther Ingolo makes a speech.

She then narrated how selfless John was and gave an example of how he let his life so as to save her and their unborn baby. That was deep! Last year alone, I made over 20 flights and all the time I got into the flight, the cabin crew will run through the safety measures and they will always insist. “In case of emergency, save your life first before helping someone else.” This message always rings in my head and I have it clearly, in case of emergency, I will save my life first before anyone else. It only takes a great man like John to save his wife and let himself undergo pain through death.

Sitting with Johns colleagues, we looked at each other and said…This was a typical case of marriage made and sealed in heaven that has actually stood the taste of time and rooted on their marriage vows, “Until death do us part”. We also made fun, while many men will tell ladies, “I will cross the ocean for you, I will fire the grenades for you,” only rare species like John will do so. Cases of wife-beating and killed spouses continue to make news in Kenya despite great campaign to end gender violence.

“He was a perfect cook. He loved the kitchen and when I refused, he took offense. You know as a typical African woman, I know African men, but John will say, Marion, I want to cook, I want to serve you, to serve you as my wife.” Added Marion.

John is laid to rest.

Indeed his death and their marriage was a challenge to all of us. “I know for sure, through Mutunga’s death, there is going to be a serious rebirth, I see a serious rebirth,” remarked Esther Ingolo who urged people to borrow a leaf from the kind of life Mutunga lived, a true example of what Christ requires of us.

It was evident that many men felt challenged. Some of his colleagues immediately formed a small kamkunji (meeting) and they were all in agreement that they were touched by the kind of a husband that John was. “I thought I knew how to love, but now I realize, I haven’t been anywhere close to where John was. No wonder they keep coming and going all the time. I am changing, na Mwaka ndio huu (This is the year)!” Retorted one of his colleagues.

At the graveside

“When you begin to realize that your past does not necessarily dictate the outcome of your future, then you release the hurt. It is impossible to inhale new air until you excel the old.”

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16 thoughts on “The Fragility of Life!!!

  1. Sad and painful. May God contunue giving Marion the strength she needs. May God be with her!

  2. moving Eulogy indeed!.Death is still a mystry and it robs us our loved ones at a time when we need them most.We cant blame God for this.May the Almighty God give Marion serenity and strenght at this grief period.
    Rest in peace Mutunga.

    1. Naomi, as sad as it is, the reality is as long as we are on earth, we will definitely leave, one day one time. How and when, remains the mistery!! Thank you for reading my blog!

  3. Woooih!! Am touched by your story nyange. Thank u 4 bringing to us ths sad and confusing story. May our lord rest john’s heart n internal peace, u say, Amen!!. But nyange, tell marion God wll provide guidence & protection to her. My prayers wil go to her 2 day. 4 u, isalute u 4 the wonderfull job u r doing 4 the public. Keep it up.

    1. Hey Kennedy,Thank you! I am sure your prayers will be heard! Marion is strong and we will visit her often. She has always remained in my prayers and we all look forward to seeing her through pregnancy. Thank you for reading my blog and leaving your comment.Good day

    2. Let’s hope that she will deliver safely. Nyange, let me prophesize that she will deliver a baby boy to be called john juniuor the baptized. Nyange, when u visit marion, pass my condolences to her. (Pole sana!!!!)

  4. There is one thing that God has hidden from us: our future. To me life is still a mystery and so precious. May the good Lord give us all wisdom to tackle life,”
    this stands out for me..very deep and profound. Mutunga lived his life everyday as if it was his last day. He challenged my outlook towards life. Beautiful piece Patience.

    1. Hey Mochalee, Thank you! Yes I love the fact that Mutunga lived his life as it was his last day. He did challenge most of us and as Esther said, through Mutungas death there is going to be a serious rebirth!!!

  5. This is so Sad may his soul rest in peace thanks for the post Nyange, and may the good lord be with Marion always. Our Prayers are with you Marion we love you so much…….

    1. Hey Amina. Nice reading from you, I know you love Marion. Be sure she is standing strong and all is well with her, we are praying for her. Thank you for reading my blog and leaving your comment!

  6. Patience, its so sad that those who seem the best on this earth always leave us too early. The best we can do is to strivein perfecting our deeds so that we can do a lot in the limited time that we have on this earth.

    May God rest his soul in peace.

  7. dear its sad but God has a good plan 4 marion i believe He will do it. It was sad ma father attended da burial tumepoteza mtu pole zangu kwa familia yake

  8. John was my high schoolmate,tho we were not intoch i was shocked by his death,n ths has taught me that life is short n 2 leave like there is no tomorow,his love n humour shall leave with us 4ever.

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