Sex sells, right? Apply a “sex concept” into anything and you have it, whether it is media ratings, sales returns or increased sales margins. I can also confidently report that my last blog post is the most read article of all my posts in the last two months,with the most comments as well as one that saw a heated debate on my Facebook wall. Simply because the title had something to do with Sex.
Sex has been overrated, national boundaries not withstanding. This far, Trekant is probably the most explicit show that has ever seen the light of the day on a National Broadcaster. Surprisingly enough, no one seems to admit to have watched it, I wonder who is watching it? There wouldn’t be so much discussion about it if people were not watching it!
“10 or 20 years ago it would have been unthinkable for NRK to do such a show. NRK loves to challenge and apply infotainment (Information in an entertaining way), that is why we have such a program on air,” said one of my colleagues at work. NRK is a public service unit owned by the people, for the people. I liked the show, regardless of the fact that I have personal reservations concerning Trekant.
The main target audience are the young adults, so if by any chance you have a problem with Trekant, (like me) chances are, you are not the target audience and you are quite old, agewise and in your thinking too. Many youths globally are experimenting with sex, trying to find out for themselves the underlying realities of sex. Take for example, many of us in Kenya, grow up being told this over and over, “Sex is wrong, do not experiment with sex, do not stay near boys you will get pregnant.” You hear this at home and you get the same at school. But why doesn´t anyone care to explain the truth about sex? That, sex is good as long as it done in the confinement of love, sex should be viewed as an expression of love between two people. And because we really do not know who loves us for sure, it will be right to say that our spouses love us and therefore, sex should only be honoured in the confinement of marriage. God has ordained it that way.
Sex is bad, Wrong
The above is the kind of advice I would have wished to receive years back when all I heard was, sex is bad. Sex is not good. Human mind is inherently evil. So we all try to rebel against such instructions and try to find out on our own, what is sex all about? What is the reality in sex? Think of it this way. When you get into a walkway and spot this notice in red printing, “Wet paint, do not touch?” What do you do? “Sometimes I just want to find out is it really wet, maybe they put the notice and forgot to remove it, then I can remove it for them,” said a friend.
In most cases, your mind tells you, touch, then you find yourself putting a finger on the wall, trying to find out for yourself! Reading about the power of the subconcious mind, I understand that our subconscious mind does not recognise ‘no’, ‘never’ and ‘not’, it simply does not listen to negation. We are subconsciously designed that way, so we omit the negation “Do not,” that is why we go ahead and touch the wet paint. The same principle is what has continued to happen with sex. “Sex is wrong! Sex is bad manners! Do not practise with sex.”So we say, ok “Sex is right, lets us try it out for ourselves, after all we are in love, right?” Then, what happens, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases and heartbroken persons who feel unwanted and used after an act of sex that was done, of course in secret. I am trying to underline the fact that sexuality is an existing phenomenon and is about emotions like any other emotions.
Abortion is Legal
At 20 (like the lady presenter, no girl in Kenya will go public to say she has been masturbating and having problems with achieving an orgasm and of course many of them are not having sex at that age and neither are they masturbating, or maybe I am being too naive!) I stand to be corrected. A Kenyan girl is definitely more concerned about saving face, and of course no parent will ever know about any sex that happens in Kenya before marriage. (So to our parents, we are all innocent). The only time parents get to know about this, is when girls become pregnant before marriage and in turn our parents feel so dishonoured and embarrassed. Years ago, some parents will even chase away their girls. Others opt for abortions, all this in the name of saving face.Then, because abortion is still a contentious issue in Kenya, many go for backstreet abortions and therefore, year in year out, we lose hundreds of women in the hands of backstreet doctors.
In Norway, abortion is legal. Explain your case and if you can support your reasons for abortion, then you have it safely done and proper care given to you and life goes on! Mmmmm! This society has come along way into accepting the fact that sex is real and more and more young people are engaging in sex and it is nothing to be ashamed of. “In this society, we walk around pretending to be having sex even if we are not, unlike many other where people pretend to be so innocent yet they are quite experienced in this field,” said another colleague. Totally incredible for this African girl!
As a result, there is every reason to give the youth information about sex and the right information for that matter. At adolescence and puberty, many youths want to experiment on everything, and this cuts across all countries. (Kenya included). The energy in them, seeks to be put into use. Internet is widely available all over Europe, many have personal computers and smartphones and can access pornographic materials online at whatever time. It is with this realisation that Trekant has come into being. Instead of lying to our children on what sex is not, let us tell them the truth, from credible sources *(the presence of the sexologist and the penis doctor during Trekant). Show them what sex is all about , explain the realities of sex, the consequences and then let them make a decision! To engage in sex or not to, is a decision that lies squarely on the youths.
Just thinking aloud
My quick reservations on the show, the presenters aged 20, 20 and 21? I still think they were a bit too young for that show and that could be misleading! If they were my brothers and sisters, I will have told them to concentrate on school work! The timing of the show (9.30 pm on a Wednesday) my thinking is, it was a bit too early for such sexual illustrative show. Students should be finishing their assignments. At the same time, I am looking at Norway and wondering what is their take on the side effects on the freedom and openness that exists in this society? What do the Christian leaders say about the same? Again I felt like the emotional part of the sex education was quite neglected. There was a lot of attention on the techniques and how to get it right but the emotional aspect of it (the heart and brain) was hugely left out. Then, what does such a show tell the rest of the youths who do not advocate for pre-marital sex? I feel there is still need to emphasize on the importance of young people learning to take care of themselves and respecting their bodies, it has been stated many a times, sex is just but an overrated phenomenon!
Back at home, while many parents are not discussing sex with their children and the teachers are not telling much either, the youth are still experimenting on the same and feeding their curiosity. Therefore, media has to take charge, some measures need to be embraced to ensure that the curious youths have the right information from the credible sources, so if it is not Trekant, then something similar to Trekant needs to be implemented especially in Kenya, if not today, at least sometime soon!
“The time for senseless bickering is past, now is the time for action.” Patience Nyange