Do You Understand Sex?? (Part 2)

Sex Concept

Trekant Presenters

Sex sells, right? Apply a “sex concept” into anything and you have it, whether it is media ratings, sales returns or increased sales margins. I can also confidently report that my last blog post is the most read article of all my posts in the last two months,with the most comments as well as one that saw a heated debate on my Facebook wall.  Simply because the title had something to do with Sex.

Sex has been overrated, national boundaries not withstanding. This far, Trekant is probably the most explicit show that has ever seen the light of the day on a National Broadcaster. Surprisingly enough, no one seems to admit to have watched it, I wonder who is watching it? There wouldn’t be so much discussion about it if people were not watching it!

“10 or 20 years ago it would have been unthinkable for NRK to do such a show. NRK loves to challenge and apply infotainment (Information in an entertaining way), that is why we have such a program on air,” said one of my colleagues at work. NRK is a public service unit owned by the people, for the people. I liked the show, regardless of the fact that I have personal reservations concerning Trekant.

Benjamin at the Waxing Clinic

The main target audience are the young adults, so if by any chance you have a problem with Trekant, (like me) chances are, you are not the target audience and you are quite old, agewise and in your thinking too. Many youths globally are experimenting with sex, trying to find out for themselves the underlying realities of sex. Take for example, many of us in Kenya, grow up being told this over and over, “Sex is wrong, do not experiment with sex, do not stay near boys you will get pregnant.” You hear this at home and you get the same at school. But why doesn´t anyone care to explain the truth about sex? That, sex is good as long as it done in the confinement of love, sex should be viewed as an expression of love between two people. And because we really do not know who loves us for sure, it will be right to say that our spouses love us and therefore, sex should only be honoured in the confinement of marriage. God has ordained it that way.

Sex is bad, Wrong

Johanna (L) at the Sexologist

The above is the kind of advice I would have wished to receive years back when all I heard was, sex is bad. Sex is not good. Human mind is inherently evil. So we all try to rebel against such instructions and try to find out on our own, what is sex all about? What is the reality in sex? Think of it this way. When you get into a walkway and spot this notice in red printing, “Wet paint, do not touch?” What do you do? “Sometimes I just want to find out is it really wet, maybe they put the notice and forgot to remove it, then I can remove it for them,” said a friend.

In most cases, your mind tells you, touch, then you find yourself putting a finger on the wall, trying to find out for yourself!  Reading about the power of the subconcious mind, I understand that our subconscious mind does not recognise ‘no’, ‘never’ and ‘not’, it simply does not listen to negation. We are subconsciously designed that way, so we omit the negation “Do not,” that is why we go ahead and touch the wet paint. The same principle is what has continued to happen with sex. “Sex is wrong! Sex is bad manners! Do not practise with sex.”So we say, ok “Sex is right, lets us try it out for ourselves, after all we are in love, right?” Then, what happens, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, sexually transmitted diseases and heartbroken persons who feel unwanted and used after an act of sex that was done, of course in secret. I am trying to underline the fact that sexuality is an existing phenomenon and is about emotions like any other emotions.

Johanna with the sexologist

Abortion is Legal

At 20 (like the lady presenter, no girl in Kenya will go public to say she has been masturbating and having problems with achieving an orgasm and of course many of them are not having sex at that age and neither are they masturbating, or maybe I am being too naive!) I stand to be corrected. A Kenyan girl is definitely more concerned about saving face, and of course no parent will ever know about any sex that happens in Kenya before marriage. (So to our parents, we are all innocent). The only time parents get to know about this, is when girls become pregnant before marriage and in turn our parents feel so dishonoured and embarrassed. Years ago, some parents will even chase away their girls.  Others opt for abortions, all this in the name of saving face.Then, because abortion is still a contentious issue in Kenya, many go for backstreet abortions and therefore, year in year out, we lose hundreds of women in the hands of backstreet doctors.

Benjamin gets a waxing treat!

In Norway, abortion is legal. Explain your case and if you can support your reasons for abortion, then you have it safely done and proper care given to you and life goes on! Mmmmm! This society has come along way into accepting the fact that sex is real and more and more young people are engaging in sex and it is nothing to be ashamed of. “In this society, we walk around pretending to be having sex even if we are not, unlike many other where people pretend to be so innocent yet they are quite experienced in this field,” said another colleague. Totally incredible for this African girl!

As a result, there is every reason to give the youth information about sex and the right information for that matter. At adolescence and puberty, many youths want to experiment on everything, and this cuts across all countries. (Kenya included). The energy in them, seeks to be put into use. Internet is widely available all over Europe, many have personal computers and smartphones and can access  pornographic materials online at whatever time. It is with this realisation that Trekant has come into being. Instead of lying to our children on what sex is not, let us tell them the truth, from credible sources *(the presence of the sexologist and the penis doctor during Trekant). Show them what sex is all about , explain the realities of sex, the consequences and then let them make a decision! To engage in sex or not to, is a decision that lies squarely on the youths.

At the Penis Doctor

Just thinking aloud

My quick reservations on the show, the presenters aged 20, 20 and 21? I still think they were a bit too young for that show and that could be misleading! If they were my brothers and sisters, I will have told them to concentrate on school work! The timing of the show (9.30 pm on a Wednesday) my thinking is, it was a bit too early for such sexual illustrative show. Students should be finishing their assignments.  At the same time, I am looking at Norway and wondering what is their take on the side effects on the freedom and openness that exists in this society? What do the Christian leaders say about the same? Again I felt like the emotional part of the sex education was quite neglected. There was a lot of attention on the techniques and how to get it right but the emotional aspect of it (the heart and brain) was hugely left out. Then, what does such a show tell the rest of the youths who do not advocate for pre-marital sex? I feel there is still need to emphasize on the importance of young people learning to take care of themselves and respecting their bodies, it has been stated many a times, sex is just but an overrated phenomenon!

Johanna after being at the Sexologist

Back at home, while many parents are not discussing sex with their children and the teachers are not telling much either, the youth are still experimenting on the same and feeding their curiosity. Therefore, media has to take charge, some measures need to be embraced to ensure that the curious youths have the right information from the credible sources, so if it is not Trekant, then something similar to Trekant needs to be implemented especially in Kenya, if not today, at least sometime soon!

“The time for senseless bickering is past, now is the time for action.” Patience Nyange

28 thoughts on “Do You Understand Sex?? (Part 2)

  1. Yes I understand it partially. It is an adventurous exploration of bodily delights… It is also an important biological function

  2. “sex should only be honoured in the confinement of marriage”…..i think advocating for such, at this tym of high unemployment rates, is unfair, considering that prostitutes and prostidudes(male ) generate their income from this noble “overated phenomenon”. i also think is high tym people thought from an REAL point of view as opposed to IDEAL point of view, and realises that fantasies of the moral superiors are unattainable. and by the way Patience, Boys are still dangerous, and so i think girls(women) should still stay away! contrary to what you say, i also think at the age of 20-21, the presenters were the right source of information to their peers, not forgeting that they looked sexy! Oooh, that word again!which lead leads me to a question i want you to answer for me: when someone says something is sexy, what does he or she mean?carefully think of that Patience!!!!!!

    1. “sex should only be honoured in the confinement of marriage”…..i think advocating for such, at this tym of high unemployment rates, is unfair, considering that prostitutes and prostidudes(male ) generate their income from this noble “overated phenomenon”. Newtone???? Mmmmm, you are highly controversial! What should Christians say about your comment? Think about it as I think about the rest of your comment above!!!

  3. According to you the programme is new so the society there is still yet to judge it, unlike the Embarassing bodies in UK which is aired at 11.30Pm in Australia. Anywhere you can get the knowledge is good but not so public or that early 9.30pm time. Some TV stations its all about the ratings not educating people.

    1. Ngeti, the program is not so new, it has been there, but it is new to me! However, it has been said with every new episode, seems there is a higher progression from one level to another *a bit shocking even to the Norwegians themselves* like last weeks episode teaching women how to achieve orgasm. Hope you get my point!

      On the other hand, NRK is not a commercial broadcaster, that is why I said, it is owned by the people, for the people, so maybe not so concerned about the ratings.I think it will still survive even without the ratings!

      Thanking for stopping by and leaving your comment!

  4. Wow! Teaching women about how to clinch the big O! That is interesting…. Its absolutely marvelous I can say.

    Why because just a week ago I was scanning through a write up done by a Gynecologist who argued that most women never live to reach orgasm even for once in their life time.

    I was perturbed by this because the expert went on to insist that such is the root to many marriage breakups predominantly in Africa.

    But what was even more disturbing was the point that this failure of women to reach orgasm normally comes as a result of women’s weakness and not a mistake of men as perceived by many.

    Well suppose the writers opinion carried some iota of truth in it then I think the TV program your talking about is holds an ultimate solution to this predicament of failing to hit the capital “O”.

    Now Ms Patience if there are experts somewhere who can openly afford to disseminate those secret tactics to equip women on a TV program I think the idea is warmly welcome.

    If you as me I will firmly accept that such programs be introduced in our Country to help salvage local marriages from this wanting situation although I am sure that many of us will pretend to dismiss this as sheer “cultural imperialism” as savour the same internally with an amazing desire.

    1. Ngoji, one I must applause you for such an open-minded reflections. I am sure if there was a feasibility study concerning such a show in Kenya, it will be trashed even before the concept comes to drafting. But wait, that still will be a good step in realizing that big changes are never achieved at once. I already said in my earlier blog, such a show will not see the light of the day in Kenya, not in the near future, at least not during my lifespan.

      My concern is about sexuality in total. It is a phenomenon that is real within us yet we live pretending it is something that never happens. I respect the sacredness of sex, but still I wish people were told the truth. For how long can we live telling lies concerning this? Technology is catching up with us and before we realize it, our children will be so hooked up in pornography and other immoral sites, then whom do we blame?

      Njoji, I have heard it before that orgasm is and has been the root to many marriage breakups predominantly in Africa. But, somehow I have issues with such thinking! Marriage is not only about sex! Many more factors cement a marriage relationship. I may not have been in a marriage setting yet, but yes, I have my opinions about it!

      Of course I am for the idea there is need for such a show in Kenya, but as you say, I am worried, many will pretend to dismiss this as sheer “cultural imperialism”!!! You are a Kenyan and I am a Kenyan, I have been in media long enough to understand how this system works!!

      Thank you for your reflections!!

  5. Contrary to your perception s expressed in “Newtone???? ” i hold my views to be truely innocent, meaning that i still think sex should only be honoured in the confinement of marriage. but then Patience Nyage, those are just theories, and the realities on the ground are different!am sure if wishes were horses, that would hold….and again Patience Nyange, i feel you are conventionally ill-at-ease with sex – Trade!( not that i love it) i wouldnt know if you are a liberal or part of the conservative society’s rear guard. i am normally amazed and fascinated by the ironies of life, take for example a barman who sells people alcohol while he himself takes water and a pastor who preaches water and takes wine!, now Patience on the day of Judgement, who will be the accused and who will be the Victim/witness?

    1. Good question Newtone- now on the day of Judgement day, who will be accused and who will be the victim or witness? That is what I have just talked about in my reply to Ngoji. We all have become great lairs (that sounds harsh, but it is true). This is why we are not talking openly about sex and we are always lying to these innocent ones, and without knowing it, they know they have been lied to, so they go out to find the truth on their own. I won´t blame them for such behaviours. If we all took a role in disseminating the truth, we will then have informed people who are able to make rational decisions!

      My personal views, I am such a conservative when it comes to sex trade. I feel like there could be other ways of making money other than selling our bodies for sexual greediness!!! This is not even pleasure! Think about it Newtone!

  6. i think i’ve got you in a spin this time around!!hehehe! so you say you are a conservative when it comes to Sex Trade!!!Oh dear, you got yourself in a ditch this time around Patience! havent you heard/ do you know that Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession? it was way there before journalism, law, medicine, accounting etc! it is the most conservative profession, and every conservative admires this time tested profession! and Patience, i dont have to say to you that even Liberals admire it! its a crazy world! our society is at war with itself , Think of that Patience?

  7. OK, Newtone kindly enlighten me on this! I am not and never advocating for sex trade at all. By the way, in Norway, Prostitution is illegal, the clients are criminally prosecuted and not the prostitutes. This is good for me! I am happy to hear so! You and me can say No to prostitution and advocate for alternative means of making money!! Think about that Newtone!

  8. “If we all took a role in disseminating the truth, we will then have informed people who are able to make rational decisions!” I wish this could eventually succeed . I believe it is possible if the idea of openness is tactfully drummed into our thinking. But Patience… who will bell the Cat? please try. Go beyond this blog… All in all yo deserve rains of accolades for coming this far. Kudos sister!

    1. Njoji, this will eventually succeed. My determination is to be the change that I so wish to see in this world, so will give it my best.I will try to be the cat, yes I will!! Njoji, thank you for the accolades, I humbly receive them!!

  9. I think no matter how much you say sex is overated, we can never underestimate the power of sex! its the engine that drives the society. its funny. its weared. its crazy. its holly. its sinful! no wonder you can hear someone say: that knife is sexy! and thus you live a whole year trying to figure out the meaning of such a phrase!money is the gold-standards of sex Patience

    1. “We can never underestimate the power of sex! its the engine that drives the society.” So if we all know this, how come we are not talking about it, how come we feel so ashamed to even think about it? I am yet to answeryou on what it means when you say something is ” Sexy”!

  10. To be sexy, is a compliment to mean that somebody looks adorable or appears deliciously provocative for sex… Perhaps it is a new euphemism which transforms one’s thoughts of admiring somebody into some inviting utterances…Its only a thought

  11. yesterday i heard somebody say Thika Road is sexy! and another one said this knife is sexy! whats the implied meaning?

  12. “yesterday i heard somebody say Thika Road is sexy! and another one said this knife is sexy! whats the implied meaning?” Perhaps the speaker meant that the road is beautiful, nice or any other compliment. Elsewhere somebody could describe the road as supuu and we know very well supuu is used to mean a beautiful lady.

    In communication you will realise that there are code languages or symbols which a normally used by specific groups to communicate. In this case you will find that a particular group can decode the usage of such symbols with ease because they share a common field of experience and therefore they understand the meaning of their codes well.

    By the same token if you introduce these codes to a different group elsewhere it may sound like fish out of water or a cow on ice. For instance in Kenya sheng language is popular among the youth and they understand it well. But the same sheng has categories where by those living in Kibera use different codes compared to those in Hurly or Westy. And if you find Coasterians speaking their own sheng it is totaly different from that of Nairobians.

    Yes I understand Thika Super highway is a good one and when somebody call it sexy I know that’s obviously a compliment.

    On the other hand if the knife was handy it could be one of the reason why someone said it is SEXY.

    Otherwise it will sound confusing if someone terms a bumpy potholed road as SEXY!!!

    Its my opinion anyway?

    1. Thank you Njoji, I think you have summed up what I wanted to say. Thank you once more for such a conclusive answer with examples. Newtone, here we go. Njoji has explained it for you, let us know what you think about this. The sexiness in Thika road could be because it is appealing because of being new, interesting, or trendy. That is my opinion. what do you think Newtone?

  13. Part two was equally interesting.Am grateful for the knowledge ave so far got about sex and especially the realities and the mentality most parents have about it.This is a challenge to all of us especially those enlightened to take our time and teach those young upcoming youths who only seek to have sex for fan without bearing in mind of the consequences.In this case the girls are always on the receiving end.I think its high time we be open and talk about sex freely.Lady P am now deeply in luv with your blog-keep it up!

    1. James, once more, thank you so much for finding time to read my blog and even more, the fact that you could spare sometime to leave a comment. Thank you for your kind words and accepting the challenge that we need to take responsibility to enlighten the youth about sex! Patience

    1. Hey Moimeme,

      Thank you for your question. Go to nrk.no and when you get to this page, search for Trekant and you will be able to find the various episodes, click translate into English. Let me know if you have any questions! Patience

  14. The above information so informative and useful and healthy .
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    and the blog contains a great information and nice pics

  15. Yeah all these following information really very informative and also very impressive. in other word we can say life motivation . really amazing i like it..

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